Bunch of "Suckers"

In my ongoing investigation of the fruitlessness of my heirloom tomatoes, I was recently asked the question, "Have you suckered your plants?" Say what? Turns out that the nutrients of the tomato plant can be misdirected to LEAVES instead of FRUIT, and the gardener needs to trim off perfectly healthy branches so that fruit will grow!

Here I was PROUD that my plants looked so beautiful and full - - and now I find out that I need to whack the branches off. Last week I was shaking my plants, this week I'm mutilating the branches! My tomato plants are beginning to regard me with quite a bit of apprehension!

Stay tuned.


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Malfunctioning Pollinator?

Some of my tomato plants are up to 5 feet tall, and it would be nice if I were looking eye to eye with ripening tomatoes. While I have lots and lots of blooms, however, the emergence of fruit is not forthcoming! I'm getting a little concerned, quite frankly.

Since I've had blooms on the plants for a couple of weeks, I am a bit concerned about pollination. My father told me that tomatoes are self-pollinating, which means they don't need bees. He also told me that commercial growers use little vibrators on the tomato plants to speed up the pollination process. I am not making this up. It sounded very wierd to me, so I went to Google, and sure enough, tomato vibrators.

So, for the past couple of days, I've gone out to the garden and given each of my tomato plants a gentle little shake. I try to do it early in the morning, in a very nonchalant manner. Don't want the neighbors talking.

This morning, I read in the paper that the recent heat wave may have inhibited pollination among tomato plants. Not sure how to remedy that one. If any of y'all have advice, please advise away!

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First BLT of the season!

I could wait no longer, and fixed a BLT for breakfast this morning. Put it on an English muffin, which made it breakfasty. That way the breakfast police would let it pass - - not like I was eating a plate of spaghetti or something.

Anyway, before you get all excited, I'll have to admit that I used a STORE-BOUGHT tomato. I know, the horrors. It was actually one of those "cluster" tomatoes, you know, the kind that have four or five small tomatoes, still connected on the vine. Gorgeous color of red. Now, I'm worldly enough to know that those tomatoes were probably as green as Herman Munster when the vine was snipped. But that way, once they do turn red, the tomatoes can be advertised as "vine ripened." Tricky marketing people.

You know, now that I think about it, what happens to the productivity of the plant once the vine has been brutally severed? Wait a minute! I think I'm developing a moral objection to cluster tomatoes! Holy oregano! I never thought about it before.

So, now that I'm not buying any more cluster tomatoes ("Save the Tomato Plants! Stop Senseless Sever-ation!"), I guess I'll have to wait until my tomatoes ripen. After I write my congressman.

I do have some cherry tomatoes coming along nicely. Then again, they might be "grape" tomatoes. I never heard of grape tomatoes until just a few years ago. Wonder how they came about. Maybe the Grape Growers Group (GGG) decided that cherries were getting all the attention - - what with Cherry Tomatoes, Cherry Coke, hot fudge sundaes ("Would you like a cherry with that?"), and Santa Claus with his dimples (how merry) and nose like a cherry. My guess is, the GGG had just had it and started promoting GRAPE tomatoes. Like we wouldn't see through it. HA.

Well, enough rambling for today. I will tell you that my Breakfast BLT was quite delicious, with the English muffin toasted just so, and the perfect amount of Duke's mayo (gotta be the Duke). The tomatoes were merely satisfactory, nowhere near exemplary. That will come, my friends. Good fruit is coming!


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